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For me, yoga was a method and means to more self-confidence and physical attainment. I enjoyed sporting my yoga outfits, visiting with my yoga friends, and sweating through my Vinyasa flows at various yoga studio in Vancouver.
At this time, I was stuck in how my yoga was looking and not how my yoga was feeling. I was centered on my belief that I had to do, but no matter how much yoga I did, I was still left empty.
My soul could not open up yet because I was doing yoga; and I was not doing it for the right reason. I was not seeking inner happiness; I was seeking it from others. I was ready to go within.
My next step was starting a home practice. This yoga came at a time in my life where I needed yin balance; my life depended on this.
Finally I was able to break away from my external self (teacher, wife, daughter, sister, runner, yogi?) and I was able to see myself as a human being; a human, just being.
I was beginning to recognize my true self. I suddenly feel in love with yoga for new reasons. I was slowing down and connecting to my breath. I was practicing solo, focused only on myself, often in baggy sweatpants.
As soon as I made these shifts, I became more connected to my inner self. A light began to glow. I was inspired to get on my mat and spend time with myself, as myself.
I was no longer caught living based on what was happening outside of me, but I was living with an understanding of what is happening inside of me. The idea of making your body an instrument of understanding, well I was achieving this, and it felt amazing.
This is when I knew yoga was something that I wanted to learn more about. I was at a point where I was starting to see myself as someone worthy.
This understanding came from within me, through my practice. I wanted to continue feeling positive about myself, and connected to myself. I was ready to invest in myself, and I applied for my yoga teacher training (ytt).
All of the learning I have gained so far has been rewarding. I look forward to sharing yoga with others because I want to support others in their truest path to happiness.
In a world with so much constantly coming from outside, I want others to take the time, as I did, to balance this with the inside. What is yoga? Yoga is connecting to your most true self; it is being you.